Mainframes

I went on an excellent pruning course last week, all sorts of wisdom of the "never prune your plum trees in winter" variety plus a clear guide about what to cut and when.
I nearly spluttered on my coffee when I heard the structure of a fruit tree being described as a "main frame". So, in time-honoured Private Eye fashion:

IBM Mainframe	Apple Tree Main Frame

That is all. No real pruning to be done on our trees for a year, but it's good to have the knowledge.